Short jokes

Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!

Bob: Siri, call 666!

*dialing noises*

Bob: Hello?

Bob's dad: Hi!

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

1+1? Too hard.

Pool testing 123.

I like to drown in a pool.

I mean billiards...

What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?

Nothing, he just exploded.

If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.

Bully: Your fat.

Me: Fat is something to fix, but your face isn't.

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.

Orphan jokes? They protest.

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.

Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!

I'm really bored. Can someone talk with me? None of my friends are responding to me :(

Hey woah man, and Alya how are you guys? Oh and hbu jk master? How is life right now? Is it hard? You wanna talk?

What do you call a fish and a guitar?

Tunafish.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.