Short jokes
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
Why do dogs lick their balls? Because they can.
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?
It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.
They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
Ewwwwwww!
Ex: baby i miss u.
Me: sorry i can't talk, i'm at a funeral.
Ex: who died?!
Me: my feelings 4 u, bitch.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.