Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
What do you call the penises of gay men that are in wheelchairs?
Meals on wheels 😋😍🌭🌭🌭🌭🌭
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.