Short jokes
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
Why are orphans always sad?
Because their parents aren't there to cheer them up.
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Don't free Britney!
How do you get away with rape?
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"