Short jokes

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?

A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?

What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.

"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"

"September 11th plane driving classes for free."

What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?

The cow never made it.

What's a chicken's deadliest day?

Friday.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks!

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?

I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.

Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.

Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."

I hate long plants. They make me Ivysaur. Hahahahahahaha Pokemon!

Are you a Pikachu?

Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!

Pokemon

You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.

Pokemon.

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.