Short jokes
I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
On one hand he was fantastic and the other a spastic. You could say he was a fantastic spastic.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
Like if you meet someone emo.
Emo
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.