Short jokes
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
There are people weirder looking than me.
Like who?
Like people with Down syndrome.
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
"Now buzz off" - Explain Bear
What's the difference between a normal person's funeral and a person with polio?
The pose!
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.
What does a physicist call it when a suicidal person is high up? Potential energy.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
I've had conversations with many people. Some of them were drier than my dad's ashes.