Short jokes
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
Roses are red, just like your lips.
Mountains are big, just like your tits.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
I can’t stand jokes about Germans.
They’re the wurst.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
The South Tower proposed to the North Tower, but he said no.
There are only 2 things I hate in this world:
1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.