Shooting jokes

Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?

The recoil.

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

What's so special about bullets?

They do work after they are fired.

I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?

They all shoot people for a living.

Call of Duty kill cam be like.

This is the best kill streak ever!

It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.

Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.