Shooting Jokes

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

What do you call a 5-year-old with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?

"I guess orange is the new black."

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."