A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite. And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to the they get orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine." The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked "Now what?"
Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
Even Steph Curry can’t hit threes from behind your hairline
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning. Damn, I love being a sniper
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”
So I was at a funeral the other day and it was a school shooting mass funeral, and the lady beside me asked me, “ what do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “ How dare you you have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “well they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
I can tell a joke :`)
Twinkle Twinkle there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger? "I guess orange is the new black"
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".
