Shooting jokes

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.

School shootings are everywhere. In ice cream shops and even the woods.

God bless the shooting that happened.

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.

And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"

Roses are red, I reload fast...

I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

Goats are like mushrooms.

If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.

Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.

Damn, I love being a sniper.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.

Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide

Me: Aren't they the same thing?

I either want to hang, stab, or shoot myself. I'm dying to choose.

I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

I got the newest Call of Duty game! I got a 200 kill streak, then I went home and played COD.

Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?

The recoil.