Shooting jokes
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context
Why did the boy shoot the clock?
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.
Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.
Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
Why can't a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Their focus is always off.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.