Today there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there. When he was done, he had realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”
what do you think about the game fortnight . shit
love is like a fart if you have to force it, it's probably shit.
Christopher Columbus:*Sees native americans* Can i see your land Native amercians:sure just be care.......... Christopher Columbus:Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit
i thought i told u the lock up when i left this morning this is why our shit gets stolen all the time
In kindergarten we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words. Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit"
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself" He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first think I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"
dad: what do ou call a crazy creeper
mom: shit idontknow... kid: crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dad: tahtsmy bnoys!!!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road. It didn't have the guts to do it.
What's harder than taking a shit trying to take a shit while constipated
your hairline is so far back even the slaves can't plant that shit back
Someone was walking down the street and they some neat, Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha
how is stephen hawkins dead? his windows shit down
what do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
the worst shits you'll ever see
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. an hour later she got back home not only she lost the stranger but also her virginity.
dick dick dick fuck dick nugget shit
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urnel......Later on I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because well he probably had to go but yeah he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urnel so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part
This native American won't stop talking shit about me, so I said "please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors".
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
