Shes jokes
Your mum so fat she's diabetic... LOL
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
Yo mama so fat, flat earthers say she's round.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.