Shes jokes
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?
And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.
This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"
"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
You know Sally? She's dead now.
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.