Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Yo mama so fat then when she went on the scale it showed her phone number
Yo mama so fat then when thanos snapped his fingers she was still their
Your mama is so fat that when she went to scale its said no elephants aloud
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
