She jokes
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.
Yo mama so fat that when she went in the ocean, Spain claimed her for new land.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
Why did the 2 4s skip lunch? They already 8! Jahshshs.
And how did the pirate know that she saw land? She was shore of it! If u get it leave a like. Hahahahaha and which thing was heavier, a feather or steal? It's they way the same amount 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 🙃 😄 🤣 😂 😅 😆 Lol like
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
Yo mama so fat, she is fat!
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
So I punched an orphan...
What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
Yo mama so fat, she made Fat Albert jealous!
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT