She jokes
Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairs to heaven.
At 6, she wanted a happy mama.
At 8, she hated acting like a mom.
At 10, she wanted to see her own smile again.
At 11, she wanted to see her mom.
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.
Your mama is so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Q: Why did the ballerina get kicked off the squad?
She was standing way too close to the dancers.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
Yo mama sooooo stupid, she bought tickets to Xbox Live!