She jokes
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the ocean.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Yo momma so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down!
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Yo mama so fat, she didn't just cross the border; she crossed ALL the borders.
Short version: Yo mama so fat she touches every border.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.