She jokes
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
He placed the chocolates and the flowers down beside her.
Silence...
And then at last she spoke...
"Unexpected item in the bagging area."
Yo mama is so dumb, she put speed bumps on the race track.
Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.
She got mad and ate the bus!
Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!
Yo mama so fat that she needs her belly button to beat her home by 15 min.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
Your momma's so dumb, she took her driving lesson on a dinosaur.
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he/she doesn't know where to run home.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ