For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"
She Jokes
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?
Because she wanted that D.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
A: She moans with the other.
Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair back, she looks 15.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
