She jokes
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?
Neither did she.
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Why did your mum touch me? Because she was a pedo.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!