She jokes

Mum

  • Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

    Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.

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    Knock

  • Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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  • Emotion

  • There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

    One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!

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    Night Stand

  • When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"

    She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD

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    Mama

  • Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

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    Blonde

  • A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”

    Guy

  • A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."

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    Incest

  • A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

    The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

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