She jokes
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".