My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
If a physically handicapped gay white male is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall, and if you are a gay white male that is well-endowed that is not physically handicapped, and if you want the physically handicapped gay white male who is sitting on the toilet in the handicapped stall to suck your dick, what do you do to convince him to suck your dick if you have a hard on and your horny as hell?
Put $25.00 under the handicapped stall before you put your dick under the handicapped stall.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?
I like alottopuss.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
