Sexuality Jokes

Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.

The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.

Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.

After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."

Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.

Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"

What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

The Homo Sexual was a direct descedant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Q: What's the best part about gardening?

A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.

Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes.

Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

I'm so gay I could barely think straight.

What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?

The hole experience.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One of them turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew forty bucks in there."

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.