Sex jokes

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!

What did the Pokémon say after having sex?

"My ball was sore!"

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?

One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.

What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?

They will come down your "chimney" tonight.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

Anal intercourse is for assholes.

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

Why do physically challenged gay men suck dick better than females who are able-bodied and heterosexual?

Because physically challenged gay men do it best! 👏 🙌 👍👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 🥰 😊 😃 😄 😁 😍 💖 ❤️ 💖 ❣️ 💕 💘

How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?

She was too used to grabbing the tip.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Suck its cock.

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.