Sex jokes

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!

What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.

What is the definition of fellatio?

Auto masturbation.

F*** man, I just need a f***ing loli to walk all over me!

To all my haters, keep sucking. I'm about to cum.

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

What do both a hooker and a customer have in common? They come onto each other.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

6 looks like someone facing up.

9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people sucking each other's dicks.

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

In 69, the 6 looks like someone facing up. The 9 looks like someone facing down.

69 looks like 2 people suck each other’s dick. That means, L7.

FUCK ME DADDY!!!!

Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.