Sex jokes

So, no head?

How can you tell if your sister is on her period?

Your father's dick tastes funny.

What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex?

"Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"

Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"

Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.

A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.

A boy walks into class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks. The teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On a peach hill."

Then a girl walks in, and the teacher says, "And where on earth have you been?" The girl says, "Well, you see..." Then the teacher stops her and says, "Let me guess, on a peach hill?" The girl says, "No, on 2 big cucumbers."

So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

Don’t worry, it’s too long.

If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.

She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

What do you call a dino stripper?

A dinohore.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!