Sex jokes
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?
At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Suck its cock.
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.
Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.
PENIS PENIS
YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
1+1=3
If you don't use a condom.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; Because it's where everyone goes to "Hang Their Meat"!