Sex jokes

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Suck its cock.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"

Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.

...

I guess her rubber broke too.

2 weeks here.

What do dicks and popsicles have in common?

They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of cliffs? They push back harder.

*funny joke about dicks*

Having sex while camping is fucking in tents (intense).

What’s the difference between women and condoms?

There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.

What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?

A jammy cunt.

So, no head?

How can you tell if your sister is on her period?

Your father's dick tastes funny.

Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"

Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."