what's the difference between me and an egg? an egg gets laid.
prostitutes love their job's their always having a blast
What does Stephen Hawkins say after sex? That was wheely good
so I was at home and I went to take a shower and I accidentaly walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later I needed my headphones to listen to music so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our House only has one bathroom sweet home alabama
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*was actually up all night watching*
Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex? "Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
There are two siblings. A little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night, and take her home. So they get to the bigger brothers house, and walk in his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk bed. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "whenever you feel good, say lettuce, and whenever you want to switch positions say tomato." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato" and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, " can you guys stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayonnaise all over me.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?? She chews before she swallows
Yo mama is so nasty she buys sex toys at the second hand shop.
like if u wana hve sex
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by
i was happy to find i could get a passing grade in all my subjecks if i had sex with my teacher untill i rememberd im home schooled
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.'' “I still don't get it” responded the Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''
hey you down to fuck? no i’m just down
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex
They become in-bread
can we have sex because if we dont i cant like you big thick BOOTY! ;]*so lets have sex in bed you sexy woman or behind a tree because shoving my dick in your P***y is a very nice feeling while sucking your A*s
