Sex jokes
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
If a gay white male with blond hair is a prostitute, you will get $175.00 back for a blowjob if you give him $20.00. If you give a can of sauerkraut to a gay white male that is a prostitute with blonde hair and who is also Polish, you will get the money back that he paid for the can of sauerkraut if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. And if you wanted a blowjob from a gay white male that is a prostitute that is Canadian and Polish with blond hair, you will get the money back he paid for the bottle of maple syrup at the grocery store if you wanted him to give you a blowjob. But if you wanted to fuck him up the ass, he will give you the money back that he paid for the can of Crisco and he will also give you the money back that he paid for the box of condoms and he will give you the change back that he paid for the box of tampons that he paid for his baby sister or you could get a free anonymous blowjob at an adult book store.
If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
Why does a penis taste like octopus 🐙?
Stupid question 😒 🙄 even the catholic church ⛪ 🙏 knows that one.
Who ever said "condom?" YES DADDY!
If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!
Why did God give women legs?
1. To look at.
2. To wrap around your neck when you’re eating her out.
What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina?
A woman.
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
What’s blue and comes in brownies?
Cub Scouts.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
Would I be considered a "homo" because I have sex at home?
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.