Sex jokes

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

Watching porn.

Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

Hey, Tanya, can I Tanya ass?

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

My and my penis never truly understood the words "Booby traps" until we met the ex-wife. God's gift of self-will was working fine until my penis went hard and my mind went blank, and God started laughing, and I swear I heard him say, "Booby trap" as he walked away! True story.

What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?

The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."

Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!

Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

Why do orphans become hookers?

They can call someone daddy.

In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer?

There is sperm on the computer screen.

My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.