Sex jokes
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
F*ck me!
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What hangs low?
Balls.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.
Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
What do you call five black people having sex? A threesome.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.