Sex jokes
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?
An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
What do the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).
When you go to your friend's house to fuck her brother, but realize he's your brother from your mom's side.
Anal sex is for A**holes.
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Did you know that statistically, 1 in 10 people live next to a pedophile? Not me though, I live next to a 10 year old boy with a fat ass.