Sending Jokes

(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes) 1. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

2. I was going to tell a dead baby joke. But I decided to abort.

3. Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.

4.Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They're painful to look at.

5. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

6. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

7. I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

8. My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!

You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.

when your rother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b day (* *)

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish." Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sibling" Santa Claus wrote him back and said "okay, send me your mother"

So things are just to tiring to sort out...... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

"when someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again

me: the last time I used DUOLINGO was WHEN THE DINOSAURS WENT EXTINCT.

duolingo: lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.

That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.

Rape jokes like Cancer jokes or Aids jokes are just Humorous Wordplay. If you don't AGREE send me Your Details and we'll see if you Prefer Actual Rape to a Harmless RAPE JOKE.... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMOURLESS SHIT MUNCHERS

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.