What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid while the shooter tries to shoot him the emo kid dodges the bullets like the matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots him self.
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.