Self jokes

Did you hear they made an Emo-Hipster pizza?

It cuts itself, and you're supposed to eat it before it's cool.

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?

American: Self defense.

Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!

You gotta believe me!

Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

What do you say when an emo cuts themself?

"Like your cut, G."

Who am I?

Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.

Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?

Because everything they do is in vein.

Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.

What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?

Two beeps went off.

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.