Self jokes
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
A self-raising flower.
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."
Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.
Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Emo girls are bad, but what's worse? Cutting yourself.
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"
My name says it all.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY