Self jokes
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.
Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
I’m a paki nonse.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self-control.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.