Self Harm jokes

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏

How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.