My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.