Self Harm jokes

What do you call a depressed a cappella group?

Self-Harmony.

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."

So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

My joke is:

My life.

I love you like my cuts.

Deeply.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

Me: But they're not that long.