Self Harm jokes

What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.

My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

Me: But they're not that long.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

What do you call a depressed tree?

A wood cutter.

Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.

What is a self-harm person's favorite game?

Fruit Ninja.

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.

None.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."