Self Harm jokes
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
I made a 3D game about a depressed, self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
I got them red Gucci bracelets.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
My heart says to stop because it hurts.
Bro, chill. It's really not that deep.
Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)
"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))
And slice jokes!
What kind of "slices"?
Handy ones. ^_^
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.