Self Harm Jokes

Do you know why i wish grass was emo, so it can cut itself.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point. The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

What is a self harm persons favorite game

Fruit ninja

I told a blind man to read more so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary

What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.

My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all and If i could borrow it.

whats flat and great for cutting? me

I told someone some jokes y'know fruit ninja, barcode legs, french puppet thigh wrings. And she was like saying thats not cool and stuff. So she reported me and it was like. The counselor: So i've heard you've been making sh jokes? Me: You say it like it's a bad thing Her: It is Me: chill bro it aint that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)

I wish my lawn was emo. Then it would cut itself

I was joking about self harm to my friend and she told me to CUT it out, I couldn't even laugh. When we were at the self checkout she started scanning my arms, I asked her what she was doing she said, ̈Trying to see if it beeps, ya think id get it to work if I scanned your thighs? ̈ I said, ̈Nah bro you'd overload the system if you put it there. ̈