Self Harm jokes

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?

Because everything they do is in vein.

Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."

Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."

I love you like my cuts.

Deeply.

What do you call a depressed a cappella group?

Self-Harmony.

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.

Me: But they're not that long.

what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.

My pencil sharpener when I bleed:

And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."