What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
What is red and looks like a zebra?
My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.
To whoever you are, you are loved.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
