Self Harm Jokes

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up? Me: Oh I wan- Therapist: Don’t say to be dead Me: Well I want to be an entrepreneur, I want to sell land, pencils oh yeah. I also want to sell farm

What is red and looks like a zebra

my arm Hehhehehehe UwU

whats the difference between my arm and my stomach???? my stomach isnt ripped

my friend: you really need to stop the sh jokes Me: But their not that long

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self harms!

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"

Yḱnow how in pinocchio the french puppets have the thigh rings? Well I got em too! Only red and thinner.

i got jealous of the zebras, sorry i’ll cut it out, i wanted to practice for my med school test

I searched up self harm jokes clean but I couldn't find any :[

How you feel when you slit yourself once: :( How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:( How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

People be like: What happened to fruit ninja? It was on your phone, Me: I upgraded now i can play on my pro max thigh/wrists

i got them red Gucci bracelets

Wow- didn't know little jhony jokes were so dark- Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about sucide, sex and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well I don't really know if there actually are- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes- Even chin jokes. :⁠^⁠))

and slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^⁠_⁠^

Bros got barcode arms

I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday

The match: Ur my match The thighs: you light me up

i love u like my cuts deeply

I was joking about self harm to my friend and she told me to CUT it out, I couldn't even laugh. When we were at the self checkout she started scanning my arms, I asked her what she was doing she said, ¨Trying to see if it beeps, ya think id get it to work if I scanned your thighs?¨ I said, ¨Nah bro you'd overload the system if you put it there.¨

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain