Self Harm jokes
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.
what's the difference between my hand and my blade? my hand isn't sharp.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
I don't need to go to the car dealership when I have a Geico scanner on my arm at all times. 😏
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.
If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.
It isn't any of those if it's suicide.
Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
What part do people slit the most?
Everyone.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
Why do emo kids wear hoodies all the time?
Because they are hiding stitches.