Self Harm

Self Harm jokes

Emo kid

  • Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

    Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

    Me: I have no bullet holes.

    Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

    Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

    Mother

  • When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

  • 1
  • Emo

  • Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

  • 2
  • Suicide

  • Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

    Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

    Person 1: Really?

    Person 2: They're not even that deep.

  • 0
  • Cut

  • A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"

    Apology

  • My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.

    If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.