Self-esteem jokes

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

(Bully) Boy, you ugly!

(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

Mom asks, "Who are you talking to?"

The child said, "A mistake."

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Depression sucks, and so do you.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.

-E-

Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!

Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

Why did the woman feel ugly?

A. Nobody would even rape her.

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.