I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
Do people even like me, C. A. S. N. O. V. A.?
The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
