Self-esteem jokes

He: "I love you."

Me: "I love myself too."

I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.

Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...

Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(

My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.

We never met again.

Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.

I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.

I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.

Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.

You look like you're playing hide-and-seek with your hairline.

I am a beautiful person.

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

Your hairline.

The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.

So I treat everyone like garbage.

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.

Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.

Why don't you have a life?

Because you're ugly.