Self Jokes

we all hear cause we cut our selfs right i mean JK

What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it’s family?

A self-fie

is a selfie of a orphan a self portrait or family photo?

I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J," Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter " go bye your self something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice," they both look at craig as he pulls out a letter. craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THER BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throughs down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

My friend and I were joking about a wheelchair kid and another kid came up and said to the wheel chair kid you should stand up for your self

What the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll

my handicapped friend was getting bullied i said just stand up for your self

What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata

I stopped a terrorist from killing 100 people on a plane using self control

Why did helen keller's dog kill it's self? I would to if all I heard was daaaaaaah!

Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws? American: Self defense. Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?