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My history teacher asked my class what time they would go back to just to see what happened.

I said I'd go back to Hitler's childhood to tell him the lies that he becomes the ruler of the world by starting the Nazis, and leave his death out of the discussion.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.

What did the tower say to the other one?

I will see you later; I am about to get hit.

What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?

Keep away from me-hee-hee.

A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

When you see your mom.

Me: bruh

Her: Are you serious right now bro?

Me: Yeah no shit.

Her: *slaps me*

I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling. I mean, if they reach high enough, they can clean it...

What did the fish say to the beach?

"Long tide, no see!"

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.