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What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

Which one's super super corny?

1. What's blue and not heavy? (🤔) Light blue.

2. What's blue and super hard to see?

Dark blue. (🤔)

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.

He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!

I see all these 9/11 jokes, and I’m disgusted. I personally won’t make a 9/11 joke because they have a tendency to crash and burn.