See

See jokes

Mom

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

Orphanage

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Orphan

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

Memes

Girlfriend

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Abu

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

Death

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.

Height

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

Orphan

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

Man

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Sodium

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Pepper Spray

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

Memory

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

Man

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Mailman

One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.

Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."

Girl

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

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