People see this Rolex and they kill themselves. Motherfuckrr that's a suicide watch
when i went to the doctors he pulled his wife in, and said what do you see? I replied a fat bitch he said ok your eyesight is perfect.
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves? because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs
What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest? You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid’s until he’s 13 years old.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside. He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see”
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
Little johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off. *What was that dad?" Asked lil johnny. "oh just a bug." Said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face he then says. "That bug sure had a big dick didn't he?"
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
So a Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it
If I flip off a Asian person He can’t see it
I see a worm oh no its just your hairline
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fdalejonescomic%2Fstatus%2F993585285676941312&psig=AOvVaw3a0QTL4ocuGMs-w26p1ln7&ust=1652985525099000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAkQjRxqFwoTCLiBjojZ6fcCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD
my brother when he sees a girl
Why do orphans hate p0rn hub
They always see a step dad and step sis
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: doctor doctor i broke my leg The doctor said: i see...
are you a mirror,because i see myself in you
There was a blind man in wwe and the commentator said WATCH OUT WATCH Oh he can’t see after he was sued for national offense
