See jokes
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.
Memes
A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
Like this,
it will give you good luck. See for yourself!
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.
Doctor: Oh, I see.
Me: Ahhhh!!!!!