See jokes

A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.

The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Like this,

it will give you good luck. See for yourself!

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.

Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

I don’t see why people say that emo kids don’t like to hangout. I seen them hanging all day.

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

This is not really a joke, but it's a question.

If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?

I saw a kid crying and asked him where his parents were. He started crying harder.

The ungrateful brat. I see why he is an orphan.