See jokes

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.

The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."

According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain!"

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly.

Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

What do orphans not see on a controller?

The home button.

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.

Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To find their way to the store to see their dad.

Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.