1+1 answer 2 said all the kids but 1 kid said 5 then I said your mom fells inbarest cause everyday you look in to the mirror you see how empty your brain is
I see a kid crying in the park right. So I go up to him and say " hey where are your parants" and he says "well my dad left to get the milk and never came back and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda triangle
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple... you never see a pimple come on a little boys face.
I was a orphan as a kid and Im pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids I think we know why
Which one fell first?............ The depressed kid or the feather look at 1st comment to see answer
Teacher: where is your slip so I can see you can come on this trip
Orphan: Parent signature:___________
The sun is out and the peado vans are out. Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
I want a job cleaning mirrors, I could really see myself doing it 🤨
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people she thinks its a twinkie lmao xd
What did John Cena say to the blind man? 'YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
What do you do if you see a indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of indian culture
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied “No.” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper stocking up from the Coronavirus but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea lol why y’all be buying toilet paper now I am just confused
Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad...to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!
Sadly blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind
Sadly he didn't see it coming
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Cause half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”
