See Jokes

I go to get my mail.

Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"

Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"

Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.

He shouts “you stupid cunt!”

The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”

Dodi replies...:

“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?

The blue screen of death.