100+ Best Secret Jokes - Page 10 - Worst Jokes Ever

Porn star

Anonymous · 9 years ago

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.

Marriage

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot from Reddit's AskReddit shows a user asking what the secret to a happy marriage is. A user named "GapingAssTroll" replied that a happy marriage is not a 50/50 effort but a 60/40 effort with both people trying to be the 60. Another user, "saladshoooter", thanked GapingAssTroll for the insight.

Milk

Anonymous · 5 years ago

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

Sibling

Anonymous · 5 years ago

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

Kitchen

Nintendo Fan · 2 years ago

A kitchen with a counter top, a stove, cooking pots, cups, and a knife rack with many knives. The text on the image reads: "The secret to a clean kitchen is simple. Don't cook, ever."

Platypus

big [fire] balls · 2 years ago

The image is a two-panel meme. The top panel shows a platypus with text that says, "Quick Animal Facts: Most platypuses don't have to secretly fight a criminal mastermind who keeps on making unstoppable, long named gadgets." The bottom panel shows a man with text saying, "What do you mean, 'most?'"

Chess

what’s dudeese · 4 months ago

A large blue, orange, and yellow toy blaster lies on a carpeted floor next to a small, white and purple plush toy with large, bulging googly eyes. Above them, text reads: "Chess secret ending."

Platypus

big [fire] balls · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic strip. In the first three panels, a man in a white lab coat points at a teal platypus and says "Platypus" in a speech bubble. In the fourth panel, the man looks at the platypus who is wearing a fedora. The speech bubble says "Perry the Platypus".

Place

Willy b · 1 year ago

The image contains three sections. The top two show separate cows on roofs, a black cow and a brown and white cow. The bottom section depicts a cow dressed as a soldier, wearing a helmet, sunglasses, and holding a gun, in front of two other cow soldiers.

Divorce

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search result for "Mummy Pig" showing a cartoon pig, followed by text that details the pig's life as having 67 divorces, being in love with Lester from GTA 5, hacking Fortnite, and killing 417 people including Stephen Hawking.

Surveillance

Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A man in a dark suit stands with his back to the viewer, observing a giant, segmented screen displaying a huge, close-up image of another man's face, who looks contemplative or concerned. The scene is reminiscent of high-level surveillance. The text overlay reads: "How it feels to secretly put a camera in bro's room so you lowk only text him when he's gooning."

Class

GG Miller · 3 years ago

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

Platypus

big [fire] balls · 2 years ago

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a platypus sits on a grassy hill looking at a blue sky with a yellow sun and birds flying above. The text says, "PLATYPUSES CAN TOTALLY FLY." The second panel shows a closeup of the same platypus who has a sly look on his face and is raising one of his forelimbs. The text says, "THEY JUST CHOOSE NOT TO." There is also a text line saying "(C) ALLIE MANYDEEDS 2016".

Abortion

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A photo shows a doll that resembles an unborn baby next to text that reads: "If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they're bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass."

Body

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt stands next to a red barbecue grill, holding a can. He is wearing a blue apron that says 'DON'T ASK ME FOR THE SECRET FAMILY RECIPE'. To his right, a golden retriever dog sits on the floor, also wearing a blue apron. The dog's apron says 'I SAW THE FACE OF GOD AND IT WAS WEEPING'.

Gun

LethalCupcake2 · 1 year ago

A meme split into two panels. The top panel shows a real firearm, modified to resemble a blue and orange Nerf toy gun, resting on a wooden surface next to a ruler. Below this is a YouTube video thumbnail with the title "Real Gun Disguised as Nerf Toy" from "News4JAX". The bottom panel shows a man with curly hair and a dark jacket, known as Super Hans from Peep Show, walking on a city street and looking back towards the camera. Text overlayed on this panel reads: "The person who disguised a real gun as a nerf gun: The secret ingredient is crime."

Dandy

Haminations bryson · 3 days ago

BRO ASTRO NOVALITE IS A SCARDEY CAT, SO MUCH HE IS SCARED OF DANDY, THAT HE'S AFRAID TO ASK HIM TO BE HIS FRIEND OR HIS SECRET LOVER, LIKEEEE BRUHHHHH IT'S NOT THAT TOUGH BRO, LIKE GET OVER IT

A cosmic-themed purple and blue collage edit of the character Astro from the game Dandy's World. The character has a moon-shaped face, a star for one eye, and wears a purple nightcap. The image is decorated with stars, moon phases, and the title 'DANDY'S WORLD'. At the bottom, a text box defines 'noctuary' as the record of a single night's events.

Project

Anonymous · 18 days ago

A social media checklist image titled '#THINGS I HAVE DONE PROJECT' listing numerous life events, bad habits, traumas, and self-harm activities. Blue circles check off almost every single item, including severe struggles, while the last entry 'Accepted Myself' remains completely blank.

Error

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Or Holy Oils work

A picture shows a mechanical figure in a red hood holding a staff with a gear on top. The text on the image reads: "When you fixed a minor error on your computer by googling it. I hold the secrets of the machine spirit."

Community talk

Epidemic Stoat

I secretly goon to matt but nobody will know because this site is dead so nobody will see this post

iheartmyself

guys i actually hate being nice, deep down im a mean girl

Jomoki

mal i gto caught with the compiuter ill tty asap i love oyu more than anything and mort than anyone you are my stars you arfe my moon you are my whole universe ILYSM and im sorry MUAH