Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the twin towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Did you know there was a record for quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on a floor But only for like twenty seconds
READ THIS OUT LOUD: This is this cat This is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is a busy cat This is a for cat This is forty cat this is seconds cat NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
life is like a mcdonalds meal it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people
it took me 9.11 seconds to realize
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower? “Did I leave the stove on?”
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE! Doctor: sit down for a minute.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet. No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can? 100 dead babies in a trash can. What is worse than that? There's a live one at the bottom. What is worse than that? It eats its way out. What is worse than that? It comes back for seconds.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
What world record did the people in 911 get the world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Who are the fastest readers? Nine eleven victims because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds
one time i broke up with my roblox girlfriend by sending her a message, 30 seconds later i heard my uncle crying in the next room
