Seafood jokes
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! ๐
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
You can tune a guitar, but you canโt tuna fish.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! ๐คฃ๐๐
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.