Seafood jokes
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Why can鈥檛 blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 馃槍
Dude, your last name sounds like a seafood shop, Jordan C.!
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!
What does a cannibal call people in water?
Sea food.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 馃槀
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
You can tune a guitar, but you can鈥檛 tuna fish.
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 馃ぃ馃悪馃悪