Science jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy?
Hot Wheels.
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand-up.