Science jokes
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
MC Squared.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
We used to have a tail on the back... and now it moves forward.
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.