Science jokes

God: “Steven, join us.”

Sees the staircase to Heaven.

Steven: “Ahh, fu-”

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand-up.

There is a thin line between death and life!

You won't live to see it.....

The Cardiogram will!!

What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.

Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.

What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.

The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"

Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head 'n Shoulders.

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

Guess Stephen's batteries died.

How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.

What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.