Science jokes
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Memes
Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
Flat Earthers
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Why does the nucleus feel trapped?
Because it’s inside a cell!
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.