Science jokes
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
Memes
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.