Science jokes
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Memes
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
Actually, Iron Man is female.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?