Science jokes
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says, "I want h20." The other said, "I want h20, too." The second scientist died.
What was the one test Stephen Hawking couldn't pass? The beep test.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
Memes
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.